Watering the Desert



“Silence” is the Sensual Suicide, the release of me, all “I“ know myself to be. 

Despite the paralyzing fear in my body screaming with every ounce of intuition not to go, "Silence" is the choice to cut through the voices and step over the edge- beyond the threshold of being, in through death, I enter the Mystery.   

"Silence" is falling into cold water. My body breaks in the shock of immersion- eyes wide shut, screaming with no sound, thrashing in the deep as the water's serraded fingers of ice wrap their tendrils around my body. Suffocating snakes pulling me down, penetrating my being with daggers of lightning, freezing my veins into leaden ice.

Silence is the sound of hypervenilation. Breathing deep, iT is the ecstasy beneath my sufferring, the moment of control's release, inside shabari where the ropes are tongue tied, twisted in my knots of lie, and I stop the fight, giving my body as a gift to gravity. It is the Self in obliterated psyche where I am entirely consumed by something far greater than I could ever see.

Silence is the end of all I know my self to be. Here in death I  come alive.

To Die with You

Siyah stands upon the edge in the highest point of his castle, tears streaming down his eyes, the prisoner of paradise has come to greet his suicide. He is the broken king, and through his eyes he sees, what once was his beloved kingdom now consumed in black sea…

Many years ago, Siyah awoke in a pool of blood within a magnificent tower, a Magick fortress of highly advanced technology. As he rose to consciousness, he held no memory of who he was before or what he'd come to do. All the castle's doors were sealed to the outside world, and there was only one window with a balcony overlooking a beautiful kingdom, of which, Siyah's tower stood at the heart. 

It was clear to him the tower was meant to serve as a beacon emanating Life, as the sun casts light, to the people of the city, but Siyah, the sole operator, had no idea how to activate the tower's energy and give nourishment  to the people it was built to serve.

He felt the Spirit of the tower, a Magick essence coarsing through its corridors as a surging river carrying the voice of Life from the other side, but in every effort Siyah came to commune with the force, he was met with rejection, either utter indifference or immense agression. He'd pray to the presence everyday, calling upon God to guide him, to instill within him the awarness he'd need to commune with the force of the tower, but every prayer was met with rejection, either utter indifference or violent agression. On the rare occasion the Spirit acknowledged him, iT dove into him, debhilitating him in horrific possession, pinning him to the ground and flooding him with all the pain of the people of his people's lives, becoming more torturous every time.

People gathered outside Siyah's fortress, small at first, though their numbers grew by the day. He saw them from the window, but dared not go out to the balcony until he understood how to engage the Magick and activate the heart of the city. They pleaded for sun, begging their king to commune with the Gods, to sing the song which summons the rain, but all their cries were said in vain.

Their growing voices kept him up all through the nights, becoming louder and louder, as did the currents of Spirit pouring through the castle, and his passion begging God for mercy from his pain, where he was the king failing his kingdom everyday.

The people's cries of sadness became rage. They began pulling the city apart and setting their homes aflame outside the balcony of the king who hid away. The notion of going outside and facing their hatred became an absolute impossibility, the Demon who shackled him in chain.

Without sunlight or rain, all the crops began to die and so too the voices faded away. The last to hold onto life ensured there was nothing but ash left in the glorious kingdom, and then one day, one horrid day, all the voices ceased to speak and the only one alive was the broken king.

Ashes to ashes, the world has burned to the ground, and now that there is nobody to see, Siyah walks onto the balcony, to see the world from the outside. He wails and cries to the tragedy of his life, and from the outside, his cries and his tears call forth the rain, mixing with the ashen city into a dark, thick, tar-like sludge becomes a sea, and the rain keeps falling.

Hear now, a storm rages on all sides. Everyone in this city has died by the neglecting hands of their silent king who now, for the first and final time, arrives to be seen by not a single eye but that of God's infinity. Here is where he comes to die.

AiArrive to greet my Suicide.

Shala {Freestyle}

Death strikes and I am consumed by the sea, a flash of Dmt, my psyche dissipates into infinity as a rain drop falls into the ocean. In the belly of the Beast {666}, AiAm one with my entirety. Everything the I can be is everything the eye can see. Our Gods Dream in endeless sea, imagining infinity's horizon.

Eye see all timelines of my life laid out in front of me, all streams of interweaving melodies in perfect harmony strum through the symphony of Silence, emanating outwardly in rays of light cast from the blazing sun.

One ray approaches me, glowing as a grieving soul calling me to speak. Eye see the sad story of Siyah, the greatest tragedy of a story unspoken, a beautiful potential never brought to fruition, a fruit plucked prematurely from life, ripped from the living before its time. My Eye is a mirror reflecting the song of the sea, a blazing sun wherein the venom lies the remedy, and he burns into oblivion.

Thunder rages in holy war as his soul approaches life again, his ship cascading through the the Heaven's storm. iTs voice breathes echoing, foreshadowing for the dawn begun: 

"Invocations of a new nation, daily degredation of our soils invitation, elation, celebration, new nation, we be the birthing of body of Gaia, arise the fire, ai empire, running to the floor everything I see fallen before, the forefathers of our founding nation, we are the degredation of our digital age we come into the coincidence of coinciding incidence I am the homocide, suicide bombing, baptizing, everything I see all around me is thriving, fucking flourishing through the dream, I am the ocean unburdening, everything that I see in my dreams, storm walking, breathing in the fire of an odyssey empire, rage and rage and set the forests ablaze, I can see the king hear unburdening the cage."

A star falls down to Gaia.

Inversion Insidium