The Cliff
At night, when I fall asleep, I dream.
I Fall asleep at night and dream of being in Love
I dream of Life with you, the taste of your skin encradling my body as eye rise into the day, through your womb of all our fantasy, living life in lucidity, the embodying of all our wildest imaginings, here so abundantly unfolding, a superblooming dream in fruitioning.
Hear in you, the hope I see, what if our dreams were truly here for us to breathe?
But Life is far to bleak, the fantasy so far away, no bridge between. iT is only a dream, iT is only a dream.
You can't tell me she wasn't real, when I still feel, chills in her breath on my neck, nails drawn red through my skin. But I wake in an empty bed, and hear them say, I can't feel the loss of what I never had to take away
Then why do I scream, drowning in pain? Why do I stab myself in the heart as I'm calling out her name?
Let them call me insane. Let them say this blood dripping to the floor here falls in vain.
For a moment I believed them.
Then night flooded all perception in a sweet slaughtering to the conditioned conception of all that is to be, sinners who wrote the song of sanity, where “normal” is a complascency diseased, passively at peace, unquestioning a sick society.
But here now my dear, in the midnight of our Lover’s remedy, all their voices fall away, as I hold you once again. Your palm's breath bathing my hand, and they are ones no longer here, so they are only pretend.
She speaks so softly in my ear: "I am here. So let my words ring true. My Lover, don’t let them deceive you. Listen to me HERE, Feel this Naked heart beat, burning for all of You, and as my body breathes in another way, follow my voice as I call Home to You in guiding star, make love to me from worlds apart. Fuck me in the Holy rain of your Creation. Conjure me through fantasy, where worlds we weave, Dream to birth Our RealiTy in Evocation."
Darling you are my entirety, and in you eye see everything I am born to be, in your ocean I am free.
So then, don’t lean to those who are blind, to define the world we reside.
The deaf know not the star painted sky,
Hear in you are me as we, the Universe in our eye
You can't tell me she isn't real.
When I speak to her every night.
Wake me back to sleep.
And bring me back to life.
I share all this with you, so the one’s I love can know, why iT is I ’ve died so young, and why I had to go.
I peer over the cliff’s edge, admiring the fall from above. How long to get to the bottom? 5 seconds? 6 seconds of free fall? I shuffle my feet a little closer scattering a few rocks as a gift to gravity. I envy them as I watch them fall down, down, down. The waves crash, and time moves on as the sun comes closer to meeting the sea. There I hang with my feet dangling over, getting as close as I can to the last rays of light.
I've always thought about what it'd be like to die falling. A step just a breath too close to gravity and I'd desperately claw behind for any last lifeline. I've dreamt of the moment it finally hits- there is nothing there to hold onto and in an instant, the truth sets in: I am going to die. In this moment, all panic washes away. There is no dramatic flash before my eyes. There is nothing but silence, and in the air I turn around in blissful acceptance, spread my arms wide, and in these last moments, I fly. There is nothing but now, and in this moment I am finally free.
A door opens and pulls me under. Sound of the great finale. Here I am now with a chance to see, always just moments from saying goodnight. Blanket of black washes over the sky. I close my eyes, and let iT pull me, down, down, down; into the deep abyss. The dream envelopes me. Let iT take me. I surrender.
Sweet Love are you there? Know I've been calling you for some time, but there's been silence on the other side, something else has picked up the line, I feel iT calling me. Like graviTy, pulling my body to the edge of a cliff, sweet vast abyss, Where all I once was Now Rings forgotten. Sweet water, She Come to Take me to the black of mind, Breathing me the absence of Time, Where to Enter Let's go Of I, and the Idea of My Reflection.
Take me to the submergence of mind's insaniTy, where the Deepest thing Eye seek absolutely Terrifies me. Love I call upon you to drag your nails through my skin, and don't stop, I beg you to defy my cries for mercy, I plea thee, don't stop until my blood drains dry and my eyes breathe empty. Know that Eye Love you because you're the death of me so let me die, cast through the fire of your body, sweet suicide, self sacrifice, watch the phoenix rise as we burn alive through these churning tides.