The AhziRa

Goliath



Mark of the Beast ~ Sign of the Initiate


Claw and teeth marks are draped across his shoulder and chest. He bares the mark of the Beast and lives eternally with iTs Venom inside. To the Mojave, this is the sign of the initiate, the breaking free from paved roads to forge a direct relationship to one's True Will, the Divine Nature.













Lyrics:



Mother, my lover, you’ve left me scarred,
You’ve broken my heart,
left me naked in dark
now I'm eaten alive
by these monsters inside me
"Why do you betray me?"

Shatter my mind,
and all mirror of her memory
all this wasted time
everything that we could be
I thought you were divine
and it was God who spoke to me
but it all was just a lie

Now my heart lives in pieces,
shards on the ground,
it's more than you baby
I do not know how
to understand
and trust myself

So, why, do you lie, to me
So, why, do you lie, to me

I thought we were made for forever
You left us in the grave
I thought we were made for
Super fast cars and Anomaly visa
You left us in the grave

WhyYou leave me here to die
Now I'm bleeding out Alive
I feel so sick inside

Ever since you left,
you left a hole in me baby

I fear something's crawled inside
Now I'm losing my will to be
Aliveand I'm bleeding out tonight

There’s a monster in me
GOLIATH
There's a demon, I don't know
how to fight it, yeah
something's got my soul
This weight is far too much to hold

There’s a sickness in me
GOLIATH
A venom, I don't know
how to fight it
Devil's taking hold
This weight is far too much to hold

What is your sound?
Why are you bleeding?
Why do you scream my name?

There’s a Monster in me
GOLIATH
A Demon, I don't know
how to fight it
Something's got my Soul
This weight is far too much to hold

Shatter me, the sun, Obliteration
Lord I've never felt so Alive
Rage the fire flood (yeah)
blood running to ring her
Thunder is the Killer of the Night

So ask me,
Why do you defy me God?

Why? Why? Why?





All emotions collide inside me at once.
I collapse in your brilliant wrath
Who am I to defy the force of a God?


I beg and I plee, Father what do I do with this energy?




A voice from the deep speaks to me:

“The same energy which is the tsunami
pinning you to the ocean’s floor,
is the very wave you shall learn to ride.
Be patient my son, your time will come.”




Find the Key
Utilize the Frustration as the Guiding Light
Where you suffer because you cannot see,
Feed.
Where you are not now, you will be. 
Find yourself.

Find Me.


There is a wisdom in this suffering, an invitation, wherein the venom lies the remedy.

I don’t know why I lose the way, but I’ve come to find it a part of the Path- traversing the dark side of the moon where the Dream, the object of my desire, the Mountain to which I trek, is veiled in night, sheathed in shadow from me. I wonder if it will ever return. I wonder if it was ever really there in the first place.

With everything I am, I’ve tried but I fall each time to the same place, in the same way. I’ve crashed the ship again. You let me down my friend. I must be doing something wrong, but I’m blind to see, what is it that’s wrong with me?

I’m sinking, and straining not to reach the bottom where lies my greatest suffering. I don’t want to fall into that dark goodnight. I’ve tried with everything I am to fight, but your gravity is so much greater than me, than anything I could ever be. Who am I to deny the force of a God where this darkness is my Destiny.

After so much struggle, I release. I give in. I give up. And the flood washes over me. The ocean pulls me under, and I’m one again with infinity, the womb of the Mother. I’m in deep sleep, where here I hold no memory...

And then by some force of extraordinary Mystery, in the pitch of night, I see a star. It starts with one, and then a few, and then all the lights turn on. The ship’s engines are revving. I feel my Self, my friend, and together we see the Mountain, same one, same sun, and start strapping our boots back on again humming your words, “Oh what an adventure.”

And this time, there’s something different. Something changes when we make contact with the bottom. There’s a door.

What if the mountain is far larger than I knew to see? Perhaps it had to shatter my mind, my lens so more light could reach inside my eye. I’d wish this upon no one, but admire the sense, there’s more presence in me, more life breathing through than there was before. Was it always here? Am I just now noticing?

What is this soft whisper sending chills down my neck, your lips, cold as ice, upon my breast, calling my heart to beat harder for you. My desire, an ember burning through my chest, opening my flesh, each step upon your mountain.



Photography in Collaboration with Oscar Zabala