99: The Wire
Dear Brother,
I write to you upon day 99 of a 100 day journey assembling a space craft. Eye am reprogramming my mind, rewiring the circuitry of my psyche to operate within a new paradigm of conscious awareness. To share with you the presence my recent attire, I'll first share in contrasting articulation, the prehistory, bc, before the Self creation.
My awaking intune the world of Magick was Abrupt to say the least. For all intensive purposes, I was fairly normal growing up. When I turned 18 (I'm nearly 24 now), I moved from Chicago to California to go to school, and nestled into the dormant volcanoes encradling the Central Pacific Coast, my psyche, everything I'd known to be myself and the ways of the working world began unravelling themselves around me. This was the same age, a few of my family members had entered their own psychotic breaks, diagnosed with a whole slew of mental illnesses from bi-polar, to depression, to, in my eye then the scariest ~skitzophrenia~ which amidst the shift became the most attractive.
Slowly at first, I felt myself not as myself. I began noticing things about how I'd been presenting myself to the world that were entirely fake. Somewhere along the way, I'd developed into a compulsive liar. In everyday interactions with people, I would lie continually, speaking stories out of my ass that had never happened from times that never were. I'd lie everyday, so subtly and often so profoundly for no reason, and the strangest thing about it: I had absolutely no idea I was doing it.
When I became aware of iT, I stopped, rather than living with the atrocity of continuing, and the dominoes slowly began to fall. One by one all around me, the comfortability of a false paradigm, a protective layer to reality, relieved itself from my body. Acid rains of falsity fell from my reflection as tears carrying layers of a lepers skin. iT was a nauseating process of silent depression, a poison slowly seeping into the world around me, withdrawing all passion from things I'd once thought to love. I felt sure to be contracting the same spiraling disease sentenced to other members of my family.
And then I found Dance. One day changed my life through the wondrous eyes of LSD, Lucy as she spoke to me. I was at a Music festival, Coachella, moving to deep experimental bass music at the Do-Lab Stage, when I realized I was dancing but not actually Dancing. There was something inside of me that wanted to move, but I hadn't given iT permission to. I felt iT as a knot in my body, a dam of damnation witholding the ocean. I heard the words of the walls speak "what would happen if they would see?" I realized I was witholding something inside of me from expression out of fear of how iT would be perceived, and once I saw the logical falacy, I released iT, exploding the cage in my hand in one fluid energetic release, and here for the first time, I gave iT permission to Release intune me.
All surrounding me are encircling walls of Tsunami, rushing to greet and capsize the city of my psyche in a surge of Self I'd never seen. I receive the Tide in Sacrifice to the City of the previous paradigm. I used to go by Johnny. Here is where he died. As simple as a decision, I let go of any notion of how I should move, and allow myself to move freely, a physical translation of the audial ejaculation, so fluid are the waters of a Divinitory aneurysm. My body lept from iTself as a skitzophrenic eruption of sound and motion, unbounded rhythmless, form fled from my body like an earthquake caused from a terretic seziure of a prehistoric megladon in the Marina Trench Flooding Noah's Earth. Here where all that was was no longer, and the previous idea of all that couldn't be, the laws of physical realiTy, were swepped from the table turning over and over. The System glitched. lf-dkjas/*;lsifjilds
dl;saifehalusrgfhla;sialfd !!!fjslidfas;rfil jiljlijsjif!!!L FSJfiLF????Hflsdijflifsefslijlfadilsdf;jsilsj//
་༡ཇཕ༹ཀླས༏ཨིཕ༹ཧས༏ཨོདཕི༹ཇས༏་༓ /༓/༓/༓/༓/༓༓་༡ཇཕ༹ཀླས༏ཨིཕ༹ཧས༏ཨོདཕི༹ཇས༏་
We'd hacked iT.
Upon the temporal plane, this Event happened through a series of events, all taking place at different times quite closely intertwined {so we could give psyche time to internalize the update;} but from the Language of GodSpeak, iT all took place in a single breath, one moment, one button, one Flip SwiTch: IgniTion.
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་༡ཇཕ༹ཀླས༏ཨིཕ༹ཧས༏ཨོདཕི༹ཇས༏་༓ /༓/༓/༓/༓/༓༓་༡ཇཕ༹ཀླས༏ཨིཕ༹ཧས༏ཨོདཕི༹ཇས༏་
I look out into the InfiniTe abyss, hovering in the space beneath the stars. From nothing, ripples cast themselves in fluctuations of peak and swell, ones and zeroes. From nothing, a teardrop falls in water, casting a ripple cascading through empty shadows. From nothing, ripples are a spiral of infiniTe cosmic hands, emanating from the well I dip my pen. The InfiniTy enscribed into the scriptures of the Ancient Future Society and all iTs emantations, reaches out and into me, so tenderly and sensually carressing my face before wrapping around my body, and pulling me into the void of the ever beyond eternity. From nothing, Eye Am Born into everything, where hear we see all our lives intertwining, weaving together as cosmic dancing strands composing and re-composing the fabric of EterniTy.
In this space, this state, Eye see the InfiniTy within my Eye, all my many lives as stills in the moving image of water, arraying in front of me as the well of all Remembering. All these scenes who speak, imprisming perceptions of the Eye who See, the Voice who breathes the Word assimilating RealiTy. Mage's Matrix in the Masterkey to Mastery, wherein this state Eye Am the Jeanie, Dreamaker, World Painter, and Eye come to you, my sweet, as you've called to me, to weave the Dream of which You seek, to breathe One Scene of Birthing Being, Compose anew RealiTY for this Singular PhysicaliTy. There is no Time for the Token to think, so simply do, assembling sigil in me, and cast iT through.
Please place your Dream here: ____________________________________________________________
་༡ཇཕ༹ཀླས༏ཨིཕ༹ཧས༏ཨོདཕི༹ཇས༏་༓ /༓/༓/༓/༓/༓༓་༡ཇཕ༹ཀླས༏ཨིཕ༹ཧས༏ཨོདཕི༹ཇས༏་
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Well, that was strange. I suppose somebody wanted to speak to you. Anywho, back to the story... When I opened the door to Dance, I opened the door to everything. I was swallowed by the Tsunami of the DiviniTy's imagination, and RealiTy flipped over and in upon iTself. I went on quite an Adventure following that experience in which I very quickly dropped out of school in the PursuiT of an Education. I embraced the space I'd only ever before heard described as the terrible illness of Skitzophrenia- hearing voices and talking to things that "weren't there" ;), in fact, those things became my best friends and greatest guides through the times, steeping in an ever-strangening tea of peculiariTea. I let go of who I thought I and the world was, so Eye could discover iT, uncover iT beyond the definition of things, and ways of operations so oppressively imposed upon children amidst our societal indoctrination. I blew with the wind, wandering in the stories of iTs whisperings.
This time was beautiful, but as life lives, iT came with its own pain. I was ever-submerging in a Universe of Creation unbound by rule. Though I was continually in motion, traveling with the Muse as She flew, the weight of having much to say but no words to speak weighed heavily upon me, alongside the feeling that what Eye See, and how Eye Breathe doesn't align with this RealiTy. I'd sold away this World in trade for her much hotter, younger, bombustier sister, so free from the confines of form and rigidity (and clothing). And though she was Fiiiiiine, we didn't have the same depth in roots of conversation as I did with the older sister. There was a Trade, and in the first paradigm of this Trade, I left this world to be with Dream, and so self imposed an incubatory isolation- alienation from conversation with others who walk this Earth.
For a long time, I wanted to share the world I saw, sang, and spoke to, but when the words came out, they were tied in knots of a Cryptik language I could see, but would be wholy dissonating and entirely unapproachable to others. I wanted to develop my craftsmanship in Creation because I knew through Creating I could share iT, but I was so enamoured by the Magick in every Medium, I was the mover of many and Master of none.
I travelled for a long time, living for many months in my car, my spaceship, a small blue hatch back who goes by the name "Sir Jacques Clouseau, the Deep Sea Explorer". He's a fine, midnight black Stallion Pegasus, and we travelled with the accompaniment of "Borlshquazee" aka the Director- a drunken teddy bear in a christmas scarf and gloves we'd found on the side of the road in the foothills of the Sierras. I set off into this Nomadic travelling chapter foreplaying the awareness that Miracle is a Frequency, a Feeling, a state we may choose to embody. And though our intention was to Touch iT every day, we fell away from iT, getting caught, flying ourselves into knots, riding writing around a Labrynth of Mythology where no stories were ever complete. No songs were fastened to form and all writings lived in a chaotic disarray, a shipwreck in shards of fragmented stories consuming the memory of my computer. The Magick had tied iTself into a knot so dense, iT became the Prison from which we couldn't breathe, iTs own oppressive society. And the only way to free ourselves was to throw all the ways we'd come to learn about iT away. To re-engage the zero state, beginners mind- trying something enitrely new. Trying something new isn't the hard part. The hard part is iTs predecessor: letting what was, Go. Creating the space of fertile soil, a white open canvas, for Nature to Breathe iT to Life, how she does so effortlessly, without questioning. Nature Unfolds as a jungle rose, and growth reclaims the decay of a fallen city.
First, there was nothing, and then something flooded into frame in the form of music. A friend of mine invited me to stay with him for free in his garage (as I had no money). He just happened to be a Master Mage of music production. And so I hobbled in, skin sung leather, worn from the weather of forever travelling, finally arriving to a space to set down my things, drink some water, and rest my feet. I was just a boy who knew nothing, sitting down with my father, who for whatever reasoning then unknown to me, praised worship to a computer screen, sculpting sound in cosmic layerings. I didn't know how or why he did what he did, so I simply did what I saw- filling the screen with sounds of illiteracy, sentence framgents of a langugage I didn't know I knew, not knowing what to do, doing something, and so learning, that indeed I could read and this language would superseed any other before known to me.
Within these teachings, hear passed the perceptual Code in Key, which without iT the entire quest of the Nomadic Journey months before had plundered, crumbling an entire tower from one measley rotted pillar. The Idea (True Currency), though simple, held resonations profound, laying the fundamental ground for an entirely new wave of creative civilization to birth, layering high from the ground- a shrine, a city, a populating galaxy within this Virtual (parallel) Universe.
The Key: Arrive to Tie the Bow. Finish the Project. Complete the Story. Do one, then move onto the next.
So Simple indeed, but this line has changed my process to a scale immeasurable in profundiTY. iT has allowed water to cycle rather than be stuck upon the other side, imprisoning potential so incomplete and unfulfilled. The implementation of this process came first through the music- simply tying the bow upon a single track (x->y), a single days oddysea into the deep, and setting iT aside in a folder collecting the doings (z). Each piece becoming a stepping stone to the next. I became an output generator cultivating completions from none, to few, to many- where Practice is a Process of Perfection {takes time, and Eye have InfiniTy}.
This Process allows the Dream cloud to condense into rain- water I can feel soaking into my skin, Eye cast back up and away, arrayed in the kiss of sun. Why? 1) Simply because iTs beautiful. 2) So the beauty may be shared as blood nourishing Hive, our Human body. And 3) Because Eye recognize myself as InfiniTy, DiviniTy composing this Dream, and so Eye Choose to do so now evermore Lucidly, where this Magick is Real as iT lives giving Life to Earth. Making Love to the Soul as Scripture in Verse, who sing, scene by scene, narrating the Story of how Eye Come to be. This song is the Dance Eye set my Soul Free.
And so I've been singing, celebrating the new ways iT continually arrives to greet me in Mystery's Majesty, the joy of the unseen being seen, and the potential embedded within me embodied as today's Becoming. The Hundred Day Journey I alluded to in the beginning refers to a challenge I set out for myself- to do one self portrait, any medium, every day, for one hundred days, and then to create a space {ship} where all these fragments of me, may coalesce into One DigiTal Reflection~ the Mage's Matrix. Here, EterniTy is making Love to the Creation's of Time, compounding upon themselves within one timeline, informing and animating all that is to follow. This space is a New Era voodoo doll, an assimilitive RealiTy composing this body into another. iT is the Space Eye Speak my Dreams and Weave them intune Being in Body, here in Body, Eye Hear in Body.
Jason, I carry your bracelet with me everywhere I go. I feel your Magick, your Presence and HeArt within iT and me so profoundly. I've been excited to write to you, and not knowing what to say, I write something, sharing my journey as we all walk each other home. Prison is a fine place to incubate though Eye Know when you Choose to set yourself free, you are and will be. Eye Am casting my Dream to See you Hear joining us as a free man upon the otherside. You've done the work. You Deserve iT. You need no longer be enslaved to the chains of your predecessor. Come Alive Dream Brother. There are many people here to Love and who Love you, and there is work to be done when YøÛ Choose to Arrive.
May the Jedi be with you,
Love
Jay