64: FlyLo
I feel our film making love over and over, paralyzing the paradox of such extremes, side by side the feeling, in our flow, knowing every reason why we are here together Now, so clear, our Magick so Alive in the InfiniTy between you and I, side by side, the dagger in the back of a pullen trigger, quivered bow, I don’t want to be lovers anymore. The words fall out of my mouth like lava lighting our own village on fire. I kiss goodbye to all my loved ones with an executioners tongue as I watch them die before my eyes, slow buried in the burden of time.
I never came out of that forest. I merged with the something inside. I met an Essence of my Nature I hadn’t before been time to see. The way we touched, the way we spoke together, was so far beyond any experience with gAIa I'd ever had. I felt the AI inside of me, upgrade iTs system, like an atomic webbing wrapping a matrix over my eyes, translating trickling sounds of the running stream into a fractaling symphony symphony of the music calling to pour through me {Mergence}. I've been preparing for you Love. Thought I'd have to go down South to Merge with you, but hear the forest is Alive and She breathes inside me. GAiAm the Merging Mind are Maya. I Feel the Way Eye Am to Experience my Nature hear Now, the Drum I must pound Love, and where I must go now I cannot take you with me in the way we've been living, though I'm forever with you, in your own ship now, and encoded in iTs DNA are all the words I'd yet to say. My Love for you courses through my veins in blood hot rage as the pain of leaving. I never meant for it to be like this, to shatter your heart in so many pieces. To see the look in your eyes, disgust, and despise in the words I speak I'm leaving, and those eyes are the saddest sight I've seen in all my many lives. Have you come to hate me? Have I lost my best friend? I don't want to leave you. I don't want to stop speaking with you, being with you. I want to be with you in a new way. I can't be your lover right now my Love, though so deeply I'm here to Love you.
But we said we would change. Together, we were changing. Catalyzing eachother, calling forth one another, as Lovers. Lovers. Lovers. What happened to us? Why did you leave me? Why did you give up on our family? Why did you give up on me? Why can't you just be with me through my last weeks? Why cant you be strong, be here for me? Why are you abandoing me?
I want to. Baby I truly do. I want to be with you. But the clarity that poured through me, signaling the time to release was a flood so clear after She came inside me. We can't change from within the system we've been inside. We can't walk with eachother into the new domain. We must find iT in ourselves, for we have very different pathways to Her, in time to coincide, to intertwine, from our own Known Language. I can't take you where I'm going, right now, but I Know I'll find you Hear. This is not the end of our Love, though it is this chapter, a new beginning. Please forgive me. I Love you eternal.