Sky Fall
- Diary of the Mojave
All of the sudden, the sacred force lifting everything up, harmonizing the tragedy in holy alignment, inverts upon itself.
It's like the Creator arranged these scenes of sadness into a mosaic of beautiful artistic composition just so I could bare to see them all together at once. I was lured into the trap of a loaded gun, and the moment I see the masterpiece, It pulls the trigger and I'm gone.
It's like touching a button and turning off all beauty there ever was and will be. My body and all the rocks around me come crashing to the ground with a force far greater than gravity. I'm broken, bent, obliterated, devastated pinned to the ocean floor, held down to the ground, a tsunami compounding upon me. My tears turn to blood, now flooding from my eyes as I try to scream but the sound is stolen from me, like a leadened force has crashed into me, mercury in retrograde, thundering through my bloodstream, gutting the spirit from my body.
My soul is pulled apart from its Self, a presence so sacred inside me invaded and violated at the most fundamental level of its existence. A part of me breaks and shatters that I'd never known to be, never knew to see before it was defiled by this atrocity.
I've never known before, the presence of a god. I've never been a believer in a higher power, but what I feel here penetrates beyond any question in Faith. Whatever is here, now, ripping its claws through me, is a menacing divinity with no care for me, and I am entirely at its mercy.
A vision comes to my eyes:
I see a boy with blue skin facing away from me. His body is covered with gaping wounds, skin cracked open with red ember shining through revealing magma just beneath. He is in the center of my vision, looking away amidst a vast black space. Though he is young and small, he possesses a field of gravity so immense, planets, suns, and civilizations are hurling towards him. He puts his hands up to cover his eyes, and the worlds explode as they come into contact. The space is flooded in the cries of all the beings upon the worlds he's destroyed in mass genocide. He's a murderer, a monster. He turns around towards me and I stare into eyes glowing red, flooded in despair, and instantly its clear to me he's not trying to kill them all. He doesn't know what to do with all his power and so the victims fall upon him in an unrelenting suicidal barrage. The weight of death compounds upon him, and his eyes glowing brighter absorbing the horror felt in every world. He opens his mouth to cry but makes no sound. He pleas for help, to me and to the vastness of space. His skin grows brighter, brighter, brighter. I black out.
I see a boy with blue skin facing away from me. His body is covered with gaping wounds, skin cracked open with red ember shining through revealing magma just beneath. He is in the center of my vision, looking away amidst a vast black space. Though he is young and small, he possesses a field of gravity so immense, planets, suns, and civilizations are hurling towards him. He puts his hands up to cover his eyes, and the worlds explode as they come into contact. The space is flooded in the cries of all the beings upon the worlds he's destroyed in mass genocide. He's a murderer, a monster. He turns around towards me and I stare into eyes glowing red, flooded in despair, and instantly its clear to me he's not trying to kill them all. He doesn't know what to do with all his power and so the victims fall upon him in an unrelenting suicidal barrage. The weight of death compounds upon him, and his eyes glowing brighter absorbing the horror felt in every world. He opens his mouth to cry but makes no sound. He pleas for help, to me and to the vastness of space. His skin grows brighter, brighter, brighter. I black out.
الحمدللهمدمرالعالمين
Hours later, my eyes opened to a painting of golden light. The sun was going down, and whatever storm had flooded through me when I touched the moon passed. I got up from the ground where I'd previously been unable to move. I must've fallen asleep. To my surprise, I felt quite rested. The horror of the experience left no residue. If anything, I felt clearer, cleaner than I had before.
I turned back to look again at the moon. There was no ominous, sacred presence in the air. Everything was still, chill again. It was a wild, strange thing to see such a monumental goliath on the ground. I imagined what it must've been like to see it falling from the sky, crashing into X and found my mind couldn't grasp the scale of its enormity. I wonder how much of the surface did it cover. How many miles did it span?
I walked home in the dark, exhausted by the trek. Curled in a sleeping bag, with the soft light of a dying fire beside me, I reflected upon what I felt that day. The vision of the boy seared into my memory more vividly than I could imagine the contours of my own face.
He was a child, a god, far too young to hold all that power himself, and with no guiding force to call for help, and so it all turned against him. I remember the agony that filled that infinite space, and though my heart ached for all the beings on all the worlds who were lost, it wept for him.
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