38: Farcry

Eye Am in Love with a Beautiful Being who among many things is Black. Out of curiosity, I asked her the other night  if she'd ever felt I was racist. She responded to my surprise, recalling a time I'd called her "Exotic", which she is to me. Not because of her aesthetic, but because of the extraordinary realms of Magick, thought, and feeling we journey through together. Though I meant it in a positive light, I didn't know how much this word triggered her. I didn't know how many creepy old guys she encountered at work regularly asking where she's is from claiming she's so "Exotic". I didn't know every time somebody used this word, it alienated her, making it apparent she was different. I didn't know the emotional toll these alienations had upon her psyche, that every time this word was used, she had to suppress herself in honor of being Polite and keeping her job. I didn't know how these micro suppressions had accumulated and brewed over time to a point of being unbearable. She shared a story of when she'd politely spoke with a man the nature of these exchanges, she was reprimanded at work and had to apologize for honestly sharing her discomfort with a customer, enforcing the idea that she had to suppress her feelings of inequality. This, a small example of a widespread, deeply felt phenomena unfolding in our nation where the ripplings of slavery, truly not long ago, still echo through our modern times, embedded within our societal structure of language, education, and socio-economic well-being. Had I known the connotation, I certainly would have chosen a different word. 

Hear We are amidst a time of revolution, where the suppression of all the things that were not okay to say are being said out of necessity. The shadow rises from the depths iT was hiding to speak, and with iTs illumination, we together weave a new dream for how we Choose for our Culture to Breathe. Our country and world is not an equal playing field, but iT is learning to be. Racism is Alive in our world and iT isn't Black and White. It breathes through the subtly of our language, law, and lives. I am deeply in Love with a Black Being, yet unknowingly, I have played a part in iTs executioning.

May this be a time each of us Arise to greet a new conversation in all iTs emanations. All of us Allies have something to learn here, an InviTation to shift and engage each other in a new way, creating space for inclusiviTy through our own HumiliTy. Let us ask the stupid questions as children who know nothing and so learn, accepting our own being as part of the problem and iTs Resolution. Our Revolution is painting a new a society who Breathes in UniTy and Thrives, rather than close our eyes, to the Interweaving of Our Culture's who coincide, and Collectively come Alive, to Create anew Dream for we to Be Hear together and harmonize each other's Melody, as One song who sings through Symphony.


I hate saying this...

We chose to walk into you today. The Gaiad led us here, here where farcry reigns high in the widowing night. Notations notations

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